Yeah, Tyra Banks world famous super model wrote a fantasy novel. It's a so bad it's good that it goes back to bad to finally loop around to good type book in my opinion. Its got this Harry Potter thing going on, there's magical school for modeling. All the girls want to go, it's magical bla bla bla. Once a year (?) 7 "SMIZES" are let loose out in the land. If a girls finds it she's automatically accepted to the school, along with other girls who qualify. Our mary sue of a main character of course finds one. People who don't get accepted may get what is called the "Pilgrim's Plague," they try to scale the mountain where the school is but must cross the "diabolic divide."
Quote from book: "
But for most of the year, [the mountain]'s covered in fog, its color
changing with each passing day as if it's a gargantuan mood ring. You
begin your mornings staring at the fog, longing for the fateful evening
when it will turn a golden yellow and then, finally, like a push-up
brassiere, lift."
In the book there are theses 3 Obelisks made of Gold Silver and Alabaster at the edge of the town where main character lives. They become very important later on in the book, so I decided to add them, yet I found it hard to think of interesting compositions for them.
Later on in the book when our main character is at the school and she takes a wrong turn on the campus and finds her self in the "Catwalk Corridor," where models who have been catty get turned into, well, cats. The models heads are pretty much transplanted onto house cat bodies.
The protagonist gets attacked by the catty models until the Head Mistress of the school appears as a lion, tells all the catty models to leave protagonist alone. Then the Head Mistress leaves her mouth open with her tongue out and the protagonists thinks the smart thing to do is walk into her mouth. And the protagonist does and gets magically returned to the dorms.
The book shifts later on to a group of characters whom are trying to climb the mountain and are trekking through the Diabolical Divide, going to quote parts of the book here.
Context: They've been hiking for a while, they decide to camp at pond. A mom and daughter pair decide to bathe in pond. Stuff happens.
Creamy stared at Jessamine as she frolicked at the center of the pond. "Lights out, shining star," she murmured ominously. Things
began to rise to the surface. Skulls. Thousands of them. They bobbed on
the water, forming a perfect circle around Jessamine.
Something rises out of the water.
Its body was made of dozens and dozens of human arms, and its head was a
mash of ancient musical instruments contorted into an evil,
hungry-looking array of sharpening, sideways-turned cymbals for teeth,
hollow eyes made of tuba bells, and a steaming nose made of organ pipes.
It then eats the girl except her arms, and the monster places the girls arms on its head and the arms start playing the instruments.
And then in part of the climax one of the main characters is executed by a crystal and diamond guillotine.
And there is plenty more insanity in between theses scenes I've chosen. I chose them for either they are important to story or just stuck out when I read it.
